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Surviving InfidelityWith infidelity and extramarital affairs affecting over 50% of men and women in relationships, being in a position of surviving infidelity is becoming more of a reality for many men and women. However, the key to surviving infidelity goes well beyond simply attempting to save the relationship or marriage. Surviving infidelity involves taking a very hard look at oneself, one's partner and one's relationship. In essence, surviving infidelity in a healthy way may mean moving beyond the relationship because it fails to meet the needs of the people involved.Clearly, when infidelity occurs there are two basic routes a couple can take in surviving infidelity. A couple can attempt to stay together and try to heal their relationship or they can end it and go separate ways. Being forced to accept (against one's will) that the relationship is over because one's partner has found someone else is probably the most painful choice initially. In this instance, feelings of abandonment, anger and betrayal are major obstacles that must be overcome. However, in this case, there are no options but to accept and move on. The second course of action which involves attempting to save and rebuild the relationship is the more challenging option since in order to be successful, the infidelity and the reasons for it need to be dealt with honestly and sincerely. The healing process is difficult because each partner is hurting in different ways and the desire to blame the other often stands in the way of progress. If not contained, it can also poison the relationship altogether. Independent of the route taken, the most challenging aspect of surviving infidelity is coping with the uncertainty of its outcome. Even the most stable individuals acknowledge having to struggle with the roller coaster feelings that flow from infidelity. Without a doubt, the journey to surviving infidelity is a difficult one. The challenge is to come away from the experience psychologically and emotionally intact and hopefully with greater insight into what is important in life and love. Discovering that your spouse/partner has cheated on you can create great heartache, and a multitude of feelings including anger, insecurity, disbelief, mistrust, confusion, and disappointment. Surviving infidelity is just as difficult as the discovery so make sure that you have a master plan of action as to how you will cope if infidelity is discovered. Do everything you can to stay positive -for your emotional well-being and physical health. It may be hard, but try not to let yourself be dragged down by everything that is going on around you. If you are the recipient of any untruthful accusations, take a deep breath and think twice before responding in a negative way. It is important to stay strong to defend your name and your reputation. Try to surround yourself with positive people. Positive, upbeat friends and members of your family will keep you in a positive atmosphere, helping you to remain calm and rational. Although it can be difficult, you have got to be ready to move on with your life, no matter what the outcome. Use this time as a transition period, enabling you to rediscover goals and dreams for your life that you may have put off. Working hard to stay in a positive frame of mind ensures that you have the mental and emotional fortitude to tackle these new changes. There are always second chances and you deserve to have one. |